Getting ready for this show at Gargoyles, I feel a little sad. I've always wanted to show there-that is to say, I've had some work for sale in the store on and off over the years, but I believe it wasn't until recently that they started to have regular artist shows with receptions-part of the U-District's Artwalk. But I've always felt that my art fit in so well in their atmosphere. It's going to be great fun just to hang out there for 4 hours amongst all the candles, spooky gargoyle statues, fairies, and other ethereal art.
So why am I sad? I feel like this is definitely going to be my last show for a while; I have a lot to keep up with in terms of classes and projects. I'm learning new things and I just don't have the time and energy to do this on a regular basis right now. But I feel like an era is ending (well, I don't want to sound too dramatic): I'm getting more into digital shooting (yes, the girl with the "Film Is Not Dead" t-shirt-and no, I still don't think it's dead) and into graphic design and illustration. At least, that's the plan for now; we'll see where it leads. As usual, nothing in life is guaranteed.
The other thing I've realized is that what "having a show" means for me has got to change. It's become more of a time and money gobbler than anything else. It may be a good way to self-promote, but for me that's usually all it does. I really hope my efforts have led to someone noticing my work who might eventually buy some or make some connection for me that takes me somewhere. But for now, it's becoming impractical. And I've gotten tired of it. I'm tired of framing (dear god, there must be a way to present and protect my work without the old mat/glass/wood frame!) and lugging around heavy framed work (which is then difficult to show people or scan without removing it from the frame, which is a big deal.) I'm tired of plunking down $100 for a bunch of postcards and then having them turn out crappy (yes, I need to learn more about the output side of digital.) I'm tired of standing for 3-4 hours and having people wander by and say "Oh, I love your work" and then move on.
Ok, I guess I'm coming off as bitter, which is not what I'm intending. I'm trying to be pragmatic. The next time I have a show, I really want it to be in a different situation on different terms (and maybe with an audience who is actually prepared to buy some art.)
I feel sad because I haven't done much darkroom printing, I'm afraid that it's going to fall by the wayside, and even if this isn't my Last Show, it is the last time I will show this work. I've been putting up the same stuff-with the addition of a few new pieces, but the same body of work-for 2 years now. No, over 2 years. Wow. Anyway, the same old thing gets tired after a while, and of course I want to keep my work fresh and new. I just have no idea what direction it will take next. Gargoyles seems like a fitting farewell to this particular body of work; not that I will give up on it entirely, but it really does seem time to explore other directions for a while.
